The only one that feels like home
by aurghhh
Summary: Emily and Paige adjust to their new lives, beginning their relationship again while living on opposite coasts. (Sequel to "Starting Over")
1. Chapter 1

**A/N: **Long distance Paily. Set immediately after "Starting over", Emily and Paige are back together, but Emily is at Danby and Paige is at Stanford.

This will be in two parts, the first from Emily's point of view, the second from Paige's. Both take place over roughly the same time period. ("Three Dates" occurs around this time as well.)

The title is from the Missy Higgins song "Ten Days".

* * *

I was smiling the whole way back to Philly. It's hard to describe the relief I felt that Paige and I were together again. For so long I believed I'd messed up and she wouldn't love me anymore. I didn't expect to get a second chance like this.

The woman in the seat next to me just suddenly said out of nowhere "You look very happy."

"I am," I replied and just nodded.

She smiled back but left it at that. Maybe she could tell I was in love but didn't want to pry, maybe she was just happy I was happy. Anyway, the story would have taken the whole flight home to tell.

It wasn't until I got back to my dorm that it really hit me. Paige and I were a couple again, but she was in California and I was in Pennsylvania. My little room which had become home suddenly felt quiet and lonely.

I rang Paige not long afterwards. My excuse was to tell her how the flight went, but really I just wanted to hear her voice again.

Paige made an interesting suggestion.

"I think we should have a date," she said. "This Friday night."

At first I was a bit confused by this.

"It might be tough finding somewhere convenient for both of us," I replied.

"Your laptop has a webcam doesn't it?" she explained. "We could have a video date. After dinner just skype me and we can talk about whatever. It would just… I don't know, make it an occasion."

"That's a great idea," I agreed.

"Plus it will give me a chance to actually see you again," Paige added. "And that's something to look forward to."

I'm so lucky to have her.

We talked for a few hours, though I can't remember about what exactly. We even did the "You hang up" "No, you hang up" thing.

I'd missed her so much. I never stopped loving her, but I still felt like I was falling in love again.

I dreamed about her that night, too. Nothing raunchy, just the two of us in a house. I guess it must have been ours, we were certainly living there. I just remember a glimpse of us sitting on a chair on the front veranda, holding hands and looking into each other's eyes.

I like to think I was seeing our future together, that we would make it through this, that we would get a place of our own. I don't really care where, I just want it to be the two of us.

I still haven't told her about that dream though. I don't know, I'm just worried I'll scare her. Stupid I know, but I want to let our new relationship find its feet first.

* * *

It felt strange going back to classes. I'd only been away for the weekend, but it could have been a year. It was just my usual studying, training, socializing, that sort of thing, but without the sadness I'd carried around for so long. Sometimes I wished Paige was there with me, but generally life was surprisingly normal.

Well, I had to give certain people the news first.

I met up with Lakhsmi during my lunch break the next day, I think it was. We sat on the lawn near the science block, just enjoying a sunny day. She was eager to hear what had happened at Stanford, of course.

"OK, now you have to tell me everything," Lakhsmi insisted.

"Paige and I are back together," I began. "I can hardly believe it, but we are. She didn't even hesitate."

"Oh, that is wonderful news," Lakhsmi responded. "I had a good feeling about this."

"I'm glad _you_ did, I was terrified," I said.

"Sometimes love has the strength to break through any barriers," Lakhsmi declared. "You two love each other too much for it to have turned out otherwise."

"Yeah," I agreed. That's what Paige had said. Or did I say it? I wasn't quite sure.

"And how is Paige?" Lakhsmi asked. "Has she taken to life in her new home?"

"She has," I answered. "Remarkably well, too. She's made some really nice friends, her study is going well, she's getting into her training. I think Stanford suits her."

"Did you see much of the campus?" Lakhsmi asked.

"She showed me around a bit yesterday afternoon," I replied.

Lakhsmi kept asking questions. She made me describe the entire scene when I arrived at the airport, everyone I met there, and caught me being coy about how exactly we spent most of our weekend.

I wondered if this was her way of dealing with the failure of our relationship. Maybe Paige and I being happy would justify what she had given up. I looked for some sort of sign that she was hurting, that I should change the subject, but I didn't see any.

"What about you?" I asked, eventually deciding to just come out with it. "How are you feeling?"

"I am happy being single for now," Lakhsmi replied. "There was a girl, she was very sweet, but she was in love with someone else. I am happy for her, but I need a little time."

"I'm sorry," I said.

"This girl also has a tendency to apologize repeatedly even though I have carefully explained to her that she must follow her heart," Lakhsmi added. "However, I do understand, as she feels sad on my behalf."

"I just wish I could help," I explained.

This is when it gets weird staying friends with someone after you've broken up. You want to help them get over you, and you can't.

"I know," replied Lakhsmi. "But I am not despondent. I will meet someone else when the time comes and years from now we will laugh about this."

* * *

A few people around college knew what had happened, but still wanted to hear it from me. I got lots of variations on "If you're sick of telling people that's OK" but really I wasn't. I was more being careful to talk about something else occasionally. I don't usually like being the centre of attention, but now I was.

So I told Robin, Craig, Zan, Ben (yes, I have a friend called Ben at college, and he is that nice that I can even like that name again) and probably more people. The response was generally "Awwwww".

I think it was Robin who said "That is the most amazingly romantic story I have heard in a long time." She doesn't even know about Rosewood, so she's missing half of it. To her it's just that we broke up, realized we were still in love then I traveled all that way to be with her again. No stalking, betrayal or near death experiences. But yeah, I guess it still is pretty romantic.

* * *

There were other people I had to tell, of course. Spencer, Aria and, most of all, Hanna, who I owed more thanks than I could possibly give. She was just so excited for Paige and I that I barely had time to thank her though, as she was so busy telling me how happy she was.

Then there were my parents, who I almost forgot about. Seriously, I got a call from Mom, it must have been on the Wednesday or Thursday, just casually checking in on how I was doing.

"Oh yeah, I went to Stanford," I said in reply to a general question about my weekend.

Mom was silent for a moment.

"What prompted that?" she asked.

"I went to see Paige," I explained. "We're back together."

I should mention at this stage that I hadn't really told Mom and Dad much about any of this. I don't know why, maybe I was just nervous in case it didn't work out. I don't think they even knew Paige and I had spoken again. Actually, yes they did. I'd told them that, just not that I'd been thinking of trying to repair the relationship.

"What? How did this happen? I didn't know…" Mom responded, possibly with other expressions of confusion.

"I'm sorry," I began. "Paige and I have been in touch, and I've realized… I'm still in love with her. Hanna and Caleb were flying over there, so Hanna wanted me to come along as well. We surprised Paige, she just thought she was picking the others up from the airport."

"She's not the only one who was surprised," Mom chipped in.

"I'm sorry," I said. "I was going to tell you but it all happened so quickly."

"That's OK," she replied. "So the two of you have worked things out?"

"We have," I confirmed. "We're back together."

"That's wonderful," Mom said. I could hear she was still processing the information, and it would have come as a shock to her.

For a long time she had remained tight lipped, which I know was a struggle for her, but I knew she wasn't happy about Alison and I. She didn't like or trust Alison, and she really couldn't understand why I was angry at Paige for contacting the police. I think Mom was actually a bit disappointed with me that it was Paige who did it rather than me.

She hadn't said anything, though, except occasionally asking about Paige after Alison and I had broken up. Now, here I was telling her Paige and I were back together, and once she had made it through the surprise she was delighted.

"I will have to tell your father," she said. "If that's OK, of course. Did you want to tell him?"

"That's fine, Mom," I assured her. "You'll see him before I do."

Mom wanted to know all about how Paige was doing, was Paige upset at all, and the practicalities of how we were going to manage the long distance relationship. On that last point there was little I could tell her as we were still working that out ourselves.

She would punctuate the story with "That's lovely" and "Wonderful". She was particularly pleased Paige was going well with her classes and her swimming training. Which led to the inevitable question…

"Could you have another try for Stanford?"

"I'm still nowhere near my old times, Mom," I replied. "I'll have to work hard to get into the Danby program next year, let alone Stanford."

"Well, still, it's something to think about," she responded.

No, it really isn't.

* * *

Did I feel lonely? Not at this stage. I was too busy, not to mention basking in the glow of new love, or rather old love suddenly new again. I was certainly far less lonely than I had been before Paige and I had reunited.

I did notice one thing, though. We had just spent almost an entire weekend together having sex. Now, this wasn't the first time I'd had sex since breaking up with Alison, there was also Cora and Gabrielle, my other two failed relationships. It was the most sex I'd had in a long time, though, all crammed into one weekend. And suddenly stopping was harder than I expected.

So while it was good to have a break for a couple of days, I mean I seriously needed the rest, soon I started feeling it. I'd be in class and find myself thinking about Paige, thinking about Paige naked to be precise, and I don't think I need to explain how distracting that is. I love Paige's face, her eyes, her smile, but damn I love her body too. She's got some serious muscles now, and when she stretches out…

Sorry, I'm doing it again.

I spent a lot of time in my room masturbating is what I'm trying to say.

* * *

Our first video date went well, no less of an occasion for the nightly phone calls either side of it. Just seeing Paige's beautiful, smiling face again had me walking on air for days.

The phone calls were fun too. We certainly had a lot to catch up on, and a lot to talk about. We both wanted to know all about each other's lives. Having been away from her I realized how much it meant to know the minutia of her life. Knowing that made me feel like I was a part of her life again.

"Tell me something new you're doing," I suggested in one of our conversations.

"Um, let's see…" she began. "Oh, I know, singing. I've started singing. There's an acapella group on campus, about twenty of us. We practice on Tuesday nights, just singing stuff. I tried out two months ago and I've been singing with them since. I've met some great people there."

"Wow, that's fantastic," I said. "What sort of music do you do?"

"Lots," she replied. "Pop, barbershop, church music. One of the group leaders is Russian, and she's been teaching us some Orthodox hymns. They're really beautiful."

With some prodding, she told me all about her swimming, the program there, her results, her teammates. I got a little sad, I'll admit, but at the same time I was so excited for her. She was getting the break she deserved, and was making the most of it. I haven't seen her in action yet, but I want to. I'll be there for her, the girl cheering in the stands, watching her win. And I'll be proud of her.

On top of all that, she had been involved with the campus LGBT group. We had a chuckle about that, but I wanted to reach through the phone and hug her. She's come so far.

I told her about the things I was doing, the volunteer community service work, joining one of the campus feminist groups, and tutoring in my so-called spare time.

"Gee, Em, you sound busy," Paige observed.

"I do, don't I," I replied.

"What about your swimming?" she asked.

"It's going well, but I've still got a lot of work to do," I explained. "If I keep improving I should be in the Danby squad next year."

"You can do it," she said.

"If I do make it, we might end up swimming against each other," I pointed out.

"We might," Paige agreed. "And if we do I'm sure you'll come a very respectable second."

* * *

After the second date I spent some time admiring the beautiful presents she had sent me.

The shark now lives on my bed, and I've called her Shakira, as in Shakira the Shark. I know, but it's cute, and I like Shakira. I was tempted to go with Shana, but that would have been a bit awkward to explain if Paige ever heard me call her that. The picture Paige gave me I got framed, and it now sits on my desk, along with the original photo.

I wore the top and the necklace the next day, and spent all day thinking of Paige. I wear the necklace most of the time now, and sometimes I just look at it the inscription, "Emily &amp; Paige". I like that.

Then, of course, there was the third date. That I did not expect. Oh my God, it was hot though. I did my best to outdo her on the next date, but she will always have the honor of having been brave enough to go first. Soon we had to have a rule that we were to both remain fully clothed for at least the first hour, or we wouldn't talk about anything, but even that didn't last long.

Speaking of that third date, Paige and I spoke on the phone the following evening.

"Did you enjoy last night?" Paige asked.

"It was amazing," I replied. "Thank you."

"I liked it too," Paige agreed. "I was so nervous at the start, though."

"I could tell," I said. "But you went ahead anyway."

"I really got into it," she added. "Maybe a little more than I expected. You watching me, it… it kind of turned me on."

"It worked for me too, babe," I said. "You, ah, you've obviously been working out since you've been over there."

"Do you like that?" she teased.

"I'm certainly not complaining," I replied. "You are pretty buff."

"Thanks, Em," Paige said.

I found myself getting emotional. I sometimes do that after sex, and I guess this was the same. I started to cry a little.

"What is it?" Paige asked.

"Paige, I just want you to know that last night wasn't just hot, it was beautiful," I explained. "It was like we were together again, like you were there with me. It just reminded me how much I love you."

"Wow, ah… I guess that's why…" Paige seemed to be having trouble finding her words, but then she continued. "I feel safe with you, Em. I feel loved. I feel wanted. That's how much you mean to me. We'll always find a way to be together, wherever we are."

* * *

Earlier that day, before I called Paige, Lakhsmi and I met to do some work on our assignment. We took a break for lunch, and while we were eating I noticed she was studying my face.

"What?" I asked.

"You are positively glowing today," Lakhsmi observed. "Are you thinking about your beloved?"

"Yes," I responded. She didn't need to know any more detail than that. I'm not normally self-conscious, but all morning my mind had been on the previous night, and now I was worried she could tell.

"Now you are blushing," she noted, which made it worse.

She had been very cheerful all morning as well, even more so than usual, and this gave me a much needed chance to change the subject.

"You're looking quite happy yourself," I mentioned.

"I am," she confirmed.

"Any particular reason?" I asked.

"I do feel somewhat fraudulent here," Lakhsmi confessed. "Barely a week ago I was saying I would remain single for some time, and now I have gone and met someone."

"Who is she?" I asked. I hadn't expected this.

"Her name is Amber," Lakhsmi replied. "A friend of mine is on the women's soccer team, and invited me along to one of their parties on the weekend. I was introduced to Amber there and we just connected."

Amber was sounding familiar. I started searching my memory, then it came to me.

"I think I've met her," I said. "Is she about so high…" I held my hand just above my head, "…black ponytail, quite serious."

"Please do not tell me she is another of your failed relationships," Lakhsmi pleaded, a look of shock suddenly coming over her face.

"No, no," I assured her. "I've just seen her a couple of times at the Science Women's Group. She seems nice."

"That's a relief," Lakhsmi said. "And yes, she is lovely. I have suddenly become a fan of soccer. She is an attacking midfielder, apparently. I'm not precisely sure of the responsibilities of that role, but I gather part of it is kicking goals. She is so graceful when she has the ball, though. Her runs along the side of the field are a joy to behold."

"Sounds like it's serious," I said, allowing myself a little smirk.

"Do not mock me, Emily Fields," Lakhsmi playfully admonished me. "I have gone to all this trouble to find a new girlfriend, just to make you feel better I might add, so I think a little appreciation is in order."

"You're right," I responded. "It sounds like a real sacrifice."

* * *

Soon it was almost time for Paige to visit. I had it marked off in my calendar, and could feel myself getting more and more excited as the day approached. We still talked on the phone or through the computer almost every night, and sometimes I would call her during the day, but seeing her in person was still something to look forward too.

I organized a party for her back in Rosewood, and invited everyone along, including some of my college friends. Everyone wanted to meet her.

About two weeks before she arrived, we were talking on the phone. I think it was just something about how we hadn't really changed that much.

"You know, at one stage I was going to get my hair cut," Paige said. "I was thinking about it just before you called me that first time. You only just made it in time."

"You can get your hair cut if you like," I said. I actually surprised myself how casually I said it. I mean, I loved Paige's long hair, and once I would have begged her to keep it, but since we'd been apart my perspective had changed.

"I mean really cut," Paige clarified. "Like, not even shoulder length."

"I know," I said.

"Are you sure?" Paige asked. "I thought you liked my hair long."

"I do," I replied. "But if you want a change you should do it. Anyway, your hair wasn't as long on our first date, and I fell in love with you then."

She took some convincing, but a week later she texted me, just saying "Are you at your computer?" I fired up my laptop, and soon got her incoming call. And there she was. She had a bob with an undercut, and red streaks running through it.

"Is it OK?" she asked nervously.

"You look gorgeous," I replied, and she did.

"You sure?" she asked.

"Yes," I insisted. "And I can't wait to play with it when I see you."

"Not long now," she said.

"Not long at all," I agreed.


	2. Chapter 2

**A/N:** More long distance Paily, set immediately after "Starting over". Emily and Paige are back together, but Emily is at Danby and Paige is at Stanford.

This is the final part, and is from Paige's point of view. It takes place over roughly the same time period as the first, plus a bit more at the end. ("Three Dates" occurs around this time as well.)

* * *

Would I sound like a complete nerd if I said that the first thought that came into my head once Emily had left was that I'd better go home and work on my assignment?

I mean, I was pretty emotional, I'm not denying that. I watched the plane as it went out to the runway, then finally flew off. I may have cried a little.

But after that I went home and worked on my assignment. It was tough too. Visual Communications is a hard subject. It went OK though, at least I was fairly happy with my work. I'll have to see what my tutor thinks.

Look, if it sounds like I was being casual about this, it was more that I was just exhausted. So much had happened that it felt good to just think "Yeah, I'm with Emily again" and not have to worry about it.

Still, I was happy when she rang. I told her my idea about the video dates and she liked it.

Things were looking good. But I just… I knew this wouldn't be the same as last time. I mean, I felt the same, but we had both been through a lot since then. Anyway, we were on opposite sides of the country. So as much as our feelings seemed to pick up right where they left off, it would have to be different.

I just wanted a normal relationship, though. I wanted us to hang out and go on dates and share our lives, just like any other couple in love. I was about to see whether that would work.

* * *

The next day I went gift shopping. I felt bad because I'd missed her birthday, even though I know we weren't together at the time, or even talking to each other. I just really enjoy buying her presents.

It was fun, too. Having the necklace engraved, calling Aria to get hold of the shark, even just going clothes shopping for her. Em's a but hard to buy clothes for, since she's such a fashionista herself, but the top I found just said Emily.

The picture was a spur of the moment thing. I was walking though the local craft market, and this guy had a table set up with a bunch of photos he was drawing from and a display of his work. It was perfect. I quickly asked him how much and how long it would take, then ran back and got the photo from my room.

OK, I may have overdone it a little, but it just felt like old times again.

* * *

The other thing that happened that week was that my Dad called. They wanted me to come over. I explained I couldn't really afford the flight, but they offered to buy me the ticket. They'd been missing me, and I'd actually been missing them. Not too long ago I wouldn't have believed that.

In any case, I found a few days spare without waiting for the next break. It would still be a two month wait, but it was better than nothing. I could fly over on the Wednesday, spend a couple of days with them, and then go up to Philly to see Em.

I was pretty excited.

* * *

For now, though, I was just so busy. Between study, training, work and everything else I barely had a moment to myself. Oh yeah, work. I got two part time jobs, both on campus. One was on reception at the gym, just for a few hours a week, the other working out the back of the science library, mostly sorting out returned book and processing new arrivals.

The little spare time I had, well, it's probably not too much of a surprise to say I tried to spend as much of it on the phone or online with Em. The time difference was a bit tricky, so I couldn't call her too late, but that was probably good. I need to study.

I set aside some time for myself as well, and I made sure I kept up with my friends. I would see Aisha for lunch a few times a week, Claire, Lien, Dave and Jacqui a bit too. I really had to schedule my time though.

The video dates were great. Like I said, I wanted it to feel like we were in a normal relationship, and they worked even better than I'd expected. We'd talk and skype other nights, but these had a sense of occasion.

I was so nervous leading up to that third date. The idea had popped into my head when she made the joke about me wearing just my jacket, but it took two goes for me to work up the courage to do it. And I should say I had a good excuse on the second date - I didn't want to distract her from the presents I'd sent. But I was determined to give her another present the next time.

Even then, I was still dressed in my regular clothes five minutes before I was supposed to call. Then I just thought "I'm going to do this", stripped off and put the jacket on then called.

As I called I got this ridiculous idea in my head. What if there was someone else there when she answered? It was so stupid, I mean I knew it would just be her, but I pretty much held my breath until she answered.

And then it went from there. I have to say, it was hot. I didn't expect to enjoy it so much.

For a few days afterwards I was going around thinking "I've finally had sex again." Which it wasn't really, but it felt like it was. Em and I were on opposite coasts, but it just _felt_ like we were there, together. Em said she had the same feeling.

We had another date the next week. I'd been thinking what I would do, and decided to call fully clothed then offer to do a strip. As I called her I had a bit of a buzz. My heart was racing, not so much from nerves this time, just excitement. It had been so much fun the last time, and I was pretty pleased with myself for thinking of something different.

Then Emily answered, and she was completely naked. Like, absolutely nothing on, with just this cheeky smile on her face.

My mouth just fell open. I think for about five minutes all I couldn't talk, I was just making weird surprised noises. My eyes were probably popping out too.

My God, she is so gorgeous though. Words can't describe the beauty of Emily Fields.

I did end up doing that strip, by the way.

* * *

It wasn't just the video dates either. Somehow I'd gotten by fine with hardly any sex in months, but now we were back together and we _couldn't_ have sex, suddenly I was thinking about it all the time.

Em wasn't helping either. Seriously, and I'm not making this up, one time I got a call from her when I was just walking across campus to the library.

"Hey babe!" she said.

"Oh hey, Em, how you doing?" I asked, just thinking it was a normal phone call.

"Great," she replied, sounding a little breathless. "I was just thinking about you and thought I'd call."

As I listened I could hear her breathing heavily.

"Wait, where are you?" I asked.

"In my room," she replied.

"What are you doing?" I followed up with.

"Like I said, thinking about you," she answered, then made this… I don't know what to call it, it's a sort of grunting sound she sometimes makes when we're having sex.

I just said "Em!" or something like that.

Then she was like "You're beautiful. Oh my God, you're so beautiful."

I found a bench to sit down at, away from the other students who were just hanging around. All I was hearing over the phone was "Paige! Ah, fuck!" and stuff like that. I was in public though, so I couldn't do anything. She thought this was hilarious the next time we spoke. It was OK for her, but I had to go and study after that. My concentration really wasn't great.

* * *

Every time I saw Claire she would ask me how I was, then add "And how's Emily?"

"Emily's great," I would always say. "Things are going really well."

"That wonderful," she would say. "I'm so happy for the two of you."

Aisha was a little more down to earth.

"How are you two handling the distance?" she asked once.

"It's hard at times," I replied.

"I bet it is," she agreed. "I'd be climbing the walls by now."

The others just complained they didn't get to meet her when she was over here.

Was it hard? It was, and not just in the way Aisha was thinking. I was missing just snuggling up with Em, cuddling on the couch watching a movie, playing with her hair, giving her neck rubs, things like that. I mean, it was wonderful we could talk so much, and see each other, but from this far away I couldn't touch her, and that was hard to take sometimes.

* * *

The other thing that happened was Caleb and I caught up. He'd got that job in San Jose and had moved there, so we organized to meet for lunch. It was great seeing him again, and I gave him a big hug when we met.

"So we're practically neighbors," I said.

"Yep, about a half hour drive," he confirmed.

"That's awesome," I said. "Are you set up yet?"

"Work has found me a place to stay for a while, so I'm looking for somewhere to go after that," he explained."It's pretty expensive, though."

"Yeah, I've heard," I said. "What are your plans?"

"Once we've got somewhere more permanent, I can bring the rest of my stuff over, and then Hanna can come," he replied.

"You must be looking forward to that," I suggested.

"Absolutely," he agreed.

"You realize I'm going to come over and hang out with you guys all the time," I pointed out.

"We'd expect nothing less," he replied.

"It will be good to have some old friends nearby," I added.

"Have you coped OK here?" he asked.

"I have," I replied. "I've made new friends, and now, thanks to some help from you guys, I've got Emily back in my life again."

"The two of you made it happen," he protested.

"But with some help," I insisted. "I want you to know I really appreciate what you did. I don't think I need to say how much this means to me. In fact, I don't think I could. Emily is just… I love her, more than anything."

"I'm glad we could help," Caleb said. "I'm sorry I didn't keep in touch more after you broke up."

"You tried," I reminded him. "Look, I understand how difficult it was. And anyway, I just wanted to get away from anything, anyone, who reminded me of Emily."

"I'm sorry you had to go through that," he said.

"Thank you," I said, "but I did have to go through it, and I made it out. I feel like, I don't know, like I won."

"You did," he agreed. "You're pretty damn tough, Paige McCullers."

I smiled at that, but I wasn't going to argue with him.

* * *

It was Aisha who brought up the haircut. I was just talking to her one day and I noticed she was looking at my hair.

"Have you ever thought about getting that cut?" she asked. "It might be easier to manage."

"Em likes it long," I explained.

"So you kept it long all that time just for her?" Aisha asked next.

"I guess so," I replied.

"You were really holding out, weren't you?" she added.

So then it was on my mind when I was talking with Em. I just casually mentioned it, expecting her to do her usual pleading for me to keep it all, but she didn't. I was like 'Really?" and "Are you sure?" and she stuck with it.

So, I went to the hairdressers. I got Jonelle, who usually does my hair.

"You just want it tidied up as usual?" she asked.

"No, I want it cut short," I replied. "I was thinking maybe a bob."

She looked at me for a little then laughed.

"No, seriously," I insisted.

"Really?" she asked.

"Yes, really," I confirmed.

We looked through some magazines there to choose the style I wanted. I think I ended up going with the undercut and the color as well just because I'd held back for so long I decided to just go for it.

As she was about to start cutting, Jonelle looked at me with this really serious look on her face, one hand holding my hair, the other with scissors poised to cut, and was like "Are you really sure?". I had to tell her to go ahead and do it. She cut, and it just felt… weird, but kind of liberating. I got to keep some.

I was the center of attention for a few days at college. Everyone was "Paige, you got your hair cut!" and I'd just reply "Yeah".

It was funny, Kelly saw it when I arrived at swim practice and just went "Cool". Kelly doesn't say much. I probably should mention she's got a buzz cut, as well as lots of piercings and tattoo sleeves. She's the team punk, as in she actually plays bass in a punk band. I've seen them a few times, they're pretty good, I suppose.

The thought did cross my mind later that I could have waited until after I'd come back from Rosewood, but I wanted Emily to see it. Which meant everyone else would as well, but I had to do it some time.

* * *

The trip back to Rosewood seemed to come very suddenly. We'd changed the plans a little, so I was going to fly to Philly on the Tuesday night, Em would pick me up and I'd stay with her for a day, then my parents would pick me up the following night. Em had then arranged for a party in Rosewood on Saturday night.

I was so excited to see her again. The flight seemed to take an eternity, even though it was it was all on time. Waiting on the tarmac for them to let us off was painful. But eventually we got out, I walked off and through the gate, and there she was. My girl.

I rushed up to her and hugged her. I couldn't help it, I had to.

"Hey, Em" was all I said. I was crying again.

"Hi, beautiful," she replied.

All the video technology in the world can't replace a hug. Just as we were about to head off to baggage collection, she suddenly stops, puts her hands over mouth and goes "Oh my God, your hair!"

"Yeah, I told you I was going to get it cut," I said.

"Wait stop," she said, then I had to just stand there while she played with it, just flicking it with her fingers and feeling the short bit. She had a look on her face like a child with a new toy. "I love it."

* * *

We just chatted about anything on the drive to Danby. What everyone was up to, my haircut, what we'd both been doing, my haircut, how happy we were to see each other again, my haircut, that sort of thing. I didn't realize we'd arrived at Danby until she pulled into the carpark. It was late by now, after midnight, and her dorm was on the edge of campus. We went inside, up the lift, and along the corridor to her room. The room itself was even smaller than mine, but functional, I guess.

I'd barely put my things down when she grabbed me, pushed me against the wall and started kissing me. I struggled a little to get free.

"Em, the door," I reminded her.

"Oh, yeah, sorry," she said, closing it then throwing herself at me again.

And I mean throwing herself. I'd been expecting it, in a good way too, but… wow. I was literally up against the wall, her mouth hard against mine, her tongue in my mouth, my tongue in hers, and her hands all over my body. One minute she was massaging my breasts, the next she was grabbing my ass.

I'm not complaining, by the way. It was fantastic.

"Fuck, babe, I've missed you," she whispered.

"Me too, Em, me too," I agreed.

"I want you now," she said.

"I was thinking of just getting some sleep," I said in my best deadpan voice. "Maybe in the morning."

"What?" she said, though with a hint of a grin. I liked teasing her sometimes.

"It's been a long day," I added.

"It's going to be a long night, too," she said.

"Maybe I should just get undressed, put on some pajamas and get some sleep," I suggested.

"You got the first bit right," she replied. "I've… enjoyed your little shows, by the way. I was thinking it might be even more fun together."

"You want to watch me get naked?" I asked. "I suppose we could do that. Just remember all those things you said you were going to do to me?"

"I haven't stopped thinking about it, gorgeous," she said, then leaned forward to whisper into my ear. "I'm going to fuck you so hard you'll still be coming at sunrise. I'm going to make you want to scream so loud the whole building will wake up. I'm going to fuck you until you can barely move, until I only have to _look_ at your beautiful, sweet cunt to send you off again. I hope you've been doing your workouts, babe, because you're going to need some stamina tonight."

Fuck, what a night.

* * *

I was a bit hazy the next day, but I made it through. Em showed me around campus. She had hoped to introduce me to some of her friends, but it didn't end up working out because of people's schedules, so we spent the day together.

Actually, I should mention that before this she seemed a little nervous. I wasn't sure what it was, so I just asked her if there was something she was worried about.

"No, not really," she replied. "I just hope this isn't too awkward. One of my friends you might meet today is Lakhsmi. She's been really good to me since we met and helped me through everything.

"That's great," I said.

"Um, Lakhsmi is the girl I mentioned, who I went out with for a little while," Em explained. "It didn't work because, well, I was in love with you. She helped me see that, and we've stayed friends since."

"That's great," I said. "Are you worried it might be uncomfortable for her? I mean, is she over it?"

"She's fine," Em replied. "She's dating someone else now."

"What's the problem then?" I asked.

"Are you OK with it?" Em asked.

"Of course I am," I assured her. "Why wouldn't I be?"

"I don't know," Em replied. "I just wanted to make sure it didn't worry you. I mean, it's not that long ago."

"Em, you chose me," I said. "I'm not going to worry about you being friends with your ex. In fact, I think it's great you've got someone who's here for you."

I could see the relief on Em's face as she relaxed and smiled. She's so beautiful.

But, like I said, it ended up being just us. So we went back to her room. Obviously.

* * *

Emily had one lecture in the afternoon, so I just killed time and went for a walk. It's actually quite a nice uni, not as big as Stanford, but quite green. Most of the buildings seemed to be from the 50's, and were quite pleasant.

I met Em when she got out of class.

"We need go back to the room," she said as soon as I saw her. She grabbed my hand and pulled me along behind her, practically running.

"What's there?" I asked.

"You, naked, in about five minutes," she replied. "Quick, we've got to hurry."

* * *

My parents picked me up after dinner. It was great to see them again, but I was sad to be leaving Emily.

This was the first time I'd seen them and Emily together since we broke up. They'd told me they'd seen her around Rosewood, but not very often.

"Emily, it's lovely to see you again," my Mom said. "So this is your new home?"

"Yes, I like it here," Em replied.

"Are you keep up the swimming?" Dad asked.

"I am," Em replied.

It's taken a while, but they love her. I had to explain a few things over the phone, but I think they knew more about what had happened to Emily, and what Alison had done to her, than I did. In any case, they were just glad we were back together, and they've always been very good at forgetting things.

Mom then turned to me and said "Are you ready to…" then her mouth fell open. "What have you done to your hair?" she asked.

Dad then chipped in with "Oh".

"I got it cut," I explained. "I felt like a change."

"It's… different," was all Mom could say.

It was funny. They both had puzzled looks on their faces, like they were studying an old note and couldn't make out the handwriting.

I decided I'd let them ponder for a moment and just say goodbye to Em.

"OK, Em, well I'll see you on the weekend," I said.

"You will," Em said, and gave me a smile and a quick kiss.

* * *

It was great to see Mom and Dad again, though if I'm being completely honest my mind was elsewhere. It was strange being in my old room again. I was sleeping in my old bed, and most of my stuff was still there. It was all still set up for me, even though I may never live here again.

Granma's estate had been sorted out, and Dad had put some money in my account to help me out, which was really nice. I don't know how much she left them, but it wouldn't have been much after all of her medical expenses these last few years.

She didn't have many items to leave anyone either, as she had given most of them away before she moved into the home. There is a dining setting, currently in storage, which is waiting for me whenever I get my own place. I also have a beautiful locket with old photos of Granma and Grandpa from just after they were married, which I took with me to Stanford. Sometimes I look at it and just think about their lives, and what they went through. It just gives me a feeling of still having a connection to them.

The other really nice thing dad did was collect a bunch of old photos of Granma and Grandpa, as well as Mom when she was little, and make them into a photo book. We looked through it together, Mom telling stories about her parents, their old house, the Aunts and Uncles who would visit, and my Great Grandmother. It was beautiful.

* * *

Em got back to Rosewood on the Saturday afternoon and sent me a text to tell me she was there. I headed around soon afterwards to, well, help her set up was my excuse. We prepared snacks, moved furniture around, made out in the kitchen for about an hour when Pam went up the street, that sort of thing.

It was the big party Emily had arranged, on our first night in Rosewood together since we became a couple again. She had invited everyone, our old friends from Rosewood, and some of her new college friends. Spencer wouldn't be able to make it, unfortunately, as she was off on some law thing she had to do, and of course Caleb was over in San Jose.

Hanna was the first to arrive. I was just setting glasses up for drinks when I heard "Your hair!" I turned around and was practically bowled over by her giving me a hug.

"It is so good to see you again," she said. "I love what you've done. Those colored streaks are so cool."

"It's good to see you too," I replied. "I owe you a big thank you. It was you being nosy that got Em and I back together."

"It is," Hanna agreed. "I think you both owe me big time."

Aria arrived soon afterwards, then Chelsea and Brian, and others started drifting in. Caitlin was late, as usual. And as each person arrived, Hanna would announce "Hey, look at Paige's hair!".

When Lakhsmi came in Emily gave her a hug, but I could see Lakhsmi was a little hesitant, so I gave her one too.

"Thank you both for inviting me," she said.

"We're really glad you could make it," I replied.

"Unfortunately Amber is unable to attend," Lakhsmi said. "She has a match in the morning and needs her rest for an early start. I shall be going to cheer her on, but supporting from the sidelines requires somewhat less sleep than actually playing."

The next arrival was an important one, the pizza.

I started mingling to talk to everyone. Even now I still hate crowds, but I wanted to catch up with old friends and make some new ones. To be honest I don't remember everyone's names, but give me time and I should be right.

* * *

Hanna really was excited that Em and I were back together. At one point I was talking with her, Aria and Lakhsmi, and Hanna was, well, being Hanna.

"So what have you and Em been up to?" Hanna asked.

"She showed me around Danby," I replied.

"I bet she gave you a guided tour of her room with scenic views of the ceiling," Hanna then said.

Normally I can cope with Hanna, but Lakhsmi was there so it was a bit awkward. Aria nudged Hanna with her elbow and whispered "Hanna" sternly and abruptly.

"You do not need to worry," Lakhsmi said. "I have met Hanna before and I am familiar with her conversational style. She has picked up on the likelihood that Emily and Paige have been intimate in their time together and is trying to embarrass Paige."

"Thank you… I think," Hanna responded, then turned to me. "So was it really hot after being apart for so long?"

"It was," I confirmed, barely able to stop myself laughing.

"I would have loved to have seen that," Hanna said. That sent me off.

"What?" Aria asked incredulously, speaking for all of us.

"I'm just saying it would have been…" Hanna began trying to explain, but soon trailed off. "Whatever. Anyway, I can't wait to see Caleb again. I'm going to jump him the moment I see him."

"Isn't he meeting you at the airport?" Aria asked.

"Wouldn't that be hot," Hanna replied.

"And illegal," Aria pointed out.

"We don't want you getting arrested," I added.

"OK then," Hanna said, slightly crestfallen. "We'll wait until we get back to his place, then as soon as we're inside the door… Hey, was that what Em did?"

I was about to say no when I realized it was.

Anyway, the conversation went on like that for a while.

* * *

Later on when I got the chance, I had a talk to Lakhsmi.

"Hey, I just wanted to say thanks for being such a good friend for Emily," I said. "She said you really helped her."

"I believe you are aware we had a brief relationship," Lakhsmi said.

"Yeah, and I thinks it's great that you're still friends," I said. I don't know whether I really needed to tell her this, I just wanted to be sure she knew it was OK. "When she was in Rosewood she was so close to the other girls. Now she doesn't see them so much, and I'm so far away from her. I'm just glad she's got a close friend there with her."

"She is also a good friend," Lakhsmi replied. "I am very pleased to see the two of you so happy together. You mean the world to her, and I can see why. I hope that we can be friends too."

"That would be great," I agreed.

* * *

There's not too much else to say. It was a nice night, I caught up with people, made a few new friends. It wasn't a big deal, mostly just talking, but it was nice.

When everyone left we tidied up, as Emily wanted to get the place clean before she went to bed so her mother wouldn't worry too much in the morning. I helped her, then we went to bed.

I could see Em was exhausted.

"I know this is our last night," she said once we were in her room, "but I think I just need some sleep."

"I understand completely," I said.

So yeah, we got changed, climbed into bed together, curled up and went to sleep. I remember drifting off, my arm around her as I hugged her back, feeling peaceful and content.

* * *

Sunday was pretty quiet. Em woke up before I did and had already had a shower by the time I was awake. When she noticed my eyes starting to open she lay down beside me again and we snuggled up together.

"Morning, sleepy head," she whispered. "I was wondering if I needed to wake you. We'll have to get going soon."

"No, it's OK, I'm staying here," I replied.

She didn't say anything to that, she just kissed me.

I knew she was right though. I got up, had a shower, then we headed downstairs. Pam was busy washing again all the things which we had washed the previous night, but she looked happy to be doing it.

"Good morning, Paige," she greeted me, fairly chirpily. "Are you all ready for your trip back to Stanford?"

"Yes, it's all good," I said, but I was lying. My bag might have been packed, but I wasn't ready to go.

* * *

Soon we were driving back to Philly. The talk was mostly about what we both had coming up, be it assignments due, swim training, a concert Emily was looking forward to, the big night at Deon's club I had promised Aisha I would go to.

Then we were at the airport. I wished things could slow down a little, just give us more time together, but they didn't. We got to the gate, and it was almost time to board.

"Hey, it will be OK," Em said. I guess she must have picked up that I was a little down. "Friday night is still date night, and we can talk whenever you want. We'll still be together, wherever we are."

"I know," I said. "I've just been so happy with you again these last few days. I don't want this to end."

"Nothing's ending," she responded. "We're just living our lives. And remember, I love you Paige."

"I love you, Em" I replied.

* * *

Sometimes I think we won't ever have a normal relationship. Even when Emily and I are together again, I mean really together, living in the one place, waking up with each other every morning, perhaps even then our lives won't be like everyone else's.

It doesn't matter though. I don't think we can be anything other than who we are. We're connected, and we always will be.

For now we have to put up with the distance between us, the time spent apart, the things we would like to share but can't. For so long we were in Rosewood and wanted to get out from the suffocating, confined town, but now we are realizing just how big the world outside that town is.

Distance won't stop us though, or time. The love that connects us will stretch as far as it needs to, never breaking, then gently bring us together again. In the meantime we have something that's romantic and epic. Normal would be a let down after this.

Maybe I'm not explaining it well. The thing is, it's messy and it's complicated and it's frustrating at times, but my life with Emily is more wonderful than I could ever have hoped for. I _love_ her, we love each other, and that's all that matters.


End file.
